Blog
Stay Safe: Essential Online Dating Tips
So, you match with someone online, but their profile doesn't add up. They ask to borrow money for an emergency and pry into your personal life with questions about your house address, bank details, and business concerns.
Sound familiar? We have all been there or know someone who has. Online dating can feel like a jungle sometimes, where that charming profile might not belong to your soulmate...or someone who thinks your credit card is their right.
Let's be real: finding love online should be fun, not terrifying. As someone who has been a catfish, I have heard a lot “The one who needs help with house rent" , “one who has bank issues and the list goes on and on. I have gathered the essential tips that keep dating exciting without sacrificing your safety.
Why Online Dating Safety Matters Now More Than Ever
Here's the thing dating apps aren't just a trend anymore. They are how most of us meet people now. With millions of people swiping and matching every day, an app like #Tramatch has become relationship central.
My friend Mercy always says the first month of talking to someone new online is when we're most likely to miss red flags. Why? Because we are excited, we want that person to be as awesome as they seem.
Remember when I was chatting with "Investment Banker David" who turned out to be "Lives-In-His-Mom’s Apartment"? And was always complaining that his bank network was not always working. I laugh about it now, but things could have gone south if I hadn't been careful.
Red Flags That Should Make You Swipe Left
Let's talk about those warning signs that should have you hitting the brakes. Think of these as your dating safety checklist:
Major Red Flags to Watch For
When someone refuses to video chat before meeting, alarm bells should ring. There's really no good reason for this in 2025. If they are who they say they are, a quick FaceTime shouldn't be a big deal.
If they ask for money even small amounts run, don't walk. I don't care if their car broke down, their wallet was stolen, or their long-lost cousin needs emergency surgery. Real connections don't start with financial transactions.
Story changing? Pay attention. If they said they were a doctor last week but now they're running an international business, something's fishy. People with honest intentions have consistent stories.
Moving way too fast? Take a step back. When someone's already talking about how you are their soulmate after two days of chatting, it's not romantic, it's a technique called love bombing, and it's rarely genuine.
My therapist friend Carla always suggests a three-step check before meeting anyone:
First, video chat to make sure they match their photos. Second, listen for consistency in their stories about work and life. Third, pay attention to how they respond when you set boundaries, respectful people won't push.
A dating site like Tramatch offers some safety features, with Tramatch there is photo verification where you take a special selfie to prove you are really you. It's not perfect (nothing is), but it helps filter out the most obvious fakes.
From Chat to First Meet: Staying Safe When Things Get Real
The jump from texting to face-to-face is where even smart daters can get into trouble. Here's my personal checklist for making that leap safely:
Before You Say Yes to Meeting
Google them: Yes, it feels a little stalker-ish, but a quick search of their name and phone number is just basic safety. You're not writing their biography, you are making sure they are who they say they are.
Arrange your own way there and back.
Never, ever let a first date pick you up at home. Your address is private info until you're sure about them.
Public place only. Go to places like Restaurants, busy parks, places with plenty of other people around. No first dates at their house, your house, or secluded spots.
I once had someone get annoyed when I wouldn't let them pick me up at my apartment for a first date. Know what happened to them? They got unmatched immediately. Anyone who pushes back against basic safety measures is waving a giant red flag.
While You are On The Date
Stay clear-headed. It's tempting to have a drink to calm the nerves, but keeping a clear head is crucial. I limit myself to one drink max on first dates.
Keep personal info on a need-to-know basis. Your date doesn't need your home address, details about your expensive electronics, or your work schedule yet.
Check in with a friend. I text my sister when I arrive and when I'm leaving. Which brings us to...
Tech Tools That Have Your Back
You don't need to be a tech genius to use these simple apps that can add an extra layer of protection:
Must-Have Safety Apps
Life360: Let your trusted people see where you are during dates. I use this with my sister for first dates—she can see exactly where I am without me having to constantly text updates.
Google Voice: It gives you a free second phone number. This is genius for dating because you can give out this number instead of your real one until you're sure about someone.
bSafe: can send SOS alerts to friends and even record audio/video if you activate it. Hopefully you will never need it, but it's good to have.
Kitestring: is super simple—it texts you at set times, and if you don't reply, it alerts your emergency contacts. Perfect for "if you don't hear from me by 10pm, something's wrong" situations.
I personally use Google Voice for all my early dating conversations and Life360 for first meets. The peace of mind is totally worth the minor setup time.
Checking People Out (Without Being Creepy About It)
Let's be honest, romance scams are a real thing, costing people millions each year. Sometimes a little verification makes sense before you get emotionally invested.
I'm not suggesting you run a full background check on every match! But if someone claims to own three houses at age 25 with a job that doesn't add up, a quick verification check might save you heartache.
When to Listen to That Little Voice Inside
Your instincts are usually right. Here's when you should definitely pay attention to them:
My therapist says most people who get scammed admit they had a feeling something was off early on, but they ignored it. That gut feeling is your brain noticing things that don't quite make sense.
If you think you've run into a scammer, report them:
After the First Few Dates: Ongoing Safety
Once you've had a few great dates, you can relax a bit but don't throw all caution to the wind:
Finding That Safety/Openness Balance
Dating requires a tricky balance, too cautious, and you might miss out on genuine connections. Too trusting, and you might put yourself at risk.
As my favorite relationship expert says, "Trust isn't about eliminating risk, it's about managing it together." The goal isn't to approach dating terrified of everyone, but to be aware enough that you can truly relax with the right people.
The right person will respect your boundaries and safety practices. Anyone who pushes against them is showing you who they really are and you should believe them the first time.
Common Questions About Online Dating Safety
How can I tell if someone's profile is real?
Look for verified photos (the checkmark on some apps), consistent details in their profile, and willingness to video chat. If they seem too perfect or their photos look too professional, be a little skeptical.
Should I give out my phone number to match?
It's safer to chat in the app at first. If you want to move to texting, consider using Google Voice or a similar app for a free second number until you're comfortable with them.
When's the right time to meet someone in person?
After you've had enough conversations to feel comfortable and verified they are who they claim to be (usually through video chat). For most people, that's somewhere between a few days and two weeks of regular talking.
What are the biggest warning signs someone might be a scammer?
They ask for money (even small amounts), they won't video chat, they have dramatic stories about emergencies, they claim to be in love very quickly, or they're mysteriously unable to meet despite living nearby.
What's the safest way to plan a first meeting?
Meet in a public place during daylight hours, arrange your own transportation, tell a friend where you're going and who you're meeting, stay sober, and have a check-in system with someone you trust.
How do I report someone who's behaving inappropriately?
Every dating app has a reporting feature, usually there's a button on the person's profile or in your chat with them. Take screenshots of concerning behavior before reporting.
Should I tell friends about my online dates?
Absolutely! Share their profile, name, and where you're meeting with at least one trusted person before each date, at least until you've established solid trust.
What should I do if I start feeling uncomfortable during a date?
Leave! Your safety matters more than politeness. You can make an excuse, call a friend, or simply say you need to go. A decent person will understand.
Here's to finding someone wonderful while keeping yourself safe in the process! You deserve both.
What's your best tip for staying safe while dating online? Share your stories and advice in the comments below to help others navigate these waters.
Image credit: Getty images